Introduction
Healing and growth are not at all limited to the therapy office. On the contrary, therapy is only helpful if it supports you in living more and more fully in your embodied self and in your life. Therapy can work best if you are also putting in place some of the following resources and practices that support, enhance, and frame your inner work.
Inspirational Ideas
Here are three inspiring videos of TED talks by Brené Brown, Ph.D., Professor of Social Work at the University of Houston, who has studied vulnerability, shame, and wholeheartedness in human connection. The videos are:
- "The Power of Vulnerability"
- "Listening to Shame"
- "The Price of Invulnerability"
Use of Body and Mind in Relationships
There are many exciting advances in our understanding of our interpersonal relationships through the lens of the brain, the nervous system, and other aspects of the body (such as the upper face, heart, and middle ear). Below are two videos that only begin to elaborate on this rich and fascinating work
- Dan Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA who has developed a parenting program called "Mindsight" based on the field of interpersonal neurobiology. While it is focused most explicitly on the parent-child relationship, this knowledge of our neurobiology and the implications for how to be with another person can be useful in any of our intimate and mutually supportive relationships. Below is one of many videos in which he explains some simple yet profound principles for relationships. Its title is " 'Being' Versus 'Doing' With Your Child."
- Stephen Porges is a professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. He has developed the "Polyvagal Theory" which speaks to the body's neural systems as they relate to the establishment of safety and secure attachment. Here is one of many videos in which he describes and connects his theory to human relationships. Its title is "A Neural Love Code: The Body's Need to Engage and Bond."
Relaxation and Meditation
There are countless ways to do something rejuvenating, relaxing, or meditative. It can be as simple as lying in the grass, getting a massage, looking up at the night sky, sitting in front of a fire, lying or sitting with a loved one, doing yoga, listening to music, lighting a candle, and so much more. It is really so much more about "being" rather than "doing." Here are just a few links that might be helpful along these lines:
- Meditations for Self by Richard Schwartz (founder of Internal Family Systems therapy)
- Cambridge Insight Meditation Center at 331 Broadway, Cambridge, MA
- Deep breathing — for example, watch the video below on "Breathing: The Window into the Nervous System"
Recommended Books
There is so much wisdom to be found in books. They are wonderful resources for growth and learning. While it is often much more helpful to look for the books that speak to you more personally, here are just a few that I have found myself recommending regularly to my clients:
- Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy, by Francine Shapiro (founder of EMDR therapy)
- You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For: Bringing Courageous Love to Intimate Relationships, by Richard Schwartz (founder of Internal Family Systems therapy). Available as a book, an eBook, and an audiobook.
- Marriage Fitness: Four Steps to Building & Maintaining Phenomenal Love, by Mort Fertel
- Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time, by Stephen Mitchell
- How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Can Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
- Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
